Vile Rick Humble

A Short Story
by ujang

Rick Humble looked at the magic rock in his hands and felt cross.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his creepy surroundings. He had always loved dirty Athens with its eager, enchanting estuaries. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel cross.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Maureen Willis. Maureen was an articulate academic with charming feet and curvy fingers.

Rick gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a vile, lovable, port drinker with handsome feet and wide fingers. His friends saw him as a crooked, cloudy coward. Once, he had even helped a shallow toddler cross the road.

But not even a vile person who had once helped a shallow toddler cross the road, was prepared for what Maureen had in store today.

The sleet rained like swimming mice, making Rick calm.

As Rick stepped outside and Maureen came closer, he could see the expensive glint in her eye.

"Look Rick," growled Maureen, with a cute glare that reminded Rick of articulate cats. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want a wifi code. You owe me 4505 euros."

Rick looked back, even more calm and still fingering the magic rock. "Maureen, I've got a new job," he replied.

They looked at each other with ecstatic feelings, like two purple, purring pigeons laughing at a very daring birthday party, which had orchestral music playing in the background and two grateful uncles laughing to the beat.

Suddenly, Maureen lunged forward and tried to punch Rick in the face. Quickly, Rick grabbed the magic rock and brought it down on Maureen's skull.

Maureen's charming feet trembled and her curvy fingers wobbled. She looked stressed, her wallet raw like a repulsive, rough rock.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Maureen Willis was dead.

Rick Humble went back inside and made himself a nice glass of port.

THE END